[NP-Clinical] Grief info and other help needed

[Thiem]

(((Christine))) (That's a cyberhug)

No advice.  Wishing your family strength and serenity.

Laura

Christine Smith <chrisbsmith at mindspring.com> wrote:       I need some guidance. My 56 yo brother, Steve,   was killed instantly Thursday in Vancouver, WA when he was hit head  on while on a spring ride on his Harley  by a 17 yo kid who was attempting  to a pass a semi truck.  He was the best - a huge source of companionship,  support etc to my parents, especially my dad.. Very involved in the family, well  loved - story book marriage, successful, retiring in June from State  Farm -- the whole 9 yards. He has spent most of the last year in  a hotel with his wife in New Orleans area settling Katrina claims.  No  one is doing well but especially his wife and my dad. No sleep now in three  days. My sister, all 100 pounds of her, hallucinated on the Ambien we gave  her.
  
 People in my family do not die. We just go to the  hospital over and over. We have always been a motorcycle family - I did some  impressive leg damage, my dad and mom were hit by a drunk driver and survived  when on their Harley. My sister just finished have her bike painted a brilliant  teal. We do not feel bad about the cause of death - 17 year old kids do stupid  things and we all have our own stupid kids. It was unfortunate and wreckless,  but pointless to be angry with him. He could have been one of our own kids since  they all feel they are invincible and nothing bad will happen.
  
 My mom can barely get around - she is S/P knee  replacement by just a few weeks.  My dad has aged a 100 years since  Thursday per one of my sisters.. I feel helpless - there are tons and tons of  people around and in and out of several houses. I have my own grief too and  great pain for his kids and my sister. Everyone wants to do something but no one  can think how to delegate things or give some of these helpers things to do. I  am leaving in a few hours for Washington and will be up there for the next week.  The funeral is not until Thursday and it is going to be a long, depressing week.  This is even harder for me as I do not do well staying at my parents for such a  long time - I usually do better taking my family in small doses - like three  days max.
  
 Please advise on things that others have found  helpful with this sort of tragic loss. What really was nice? What did you or  your families find helpful?  I appreciate any condolences but what I really  need is pure wisdom and tips on getting us all through the next week.  
  
 Thanks in advance for your support 
 Chris Smith, NP
 Antioch, CA
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