[NPInfo] I'm appalled!

[Carla Anderson]

Hi Priscilla,
   
  When you are in the middle it is so hard to see the forest for the trees. It is good you have some siblings that offer other perspectives.  Moving is such a big stress, and thinking of good care, and "what is best" can sometimes minimize what a stress "moving" would be, so it is wise to put that issue way up on the top of stressors, and balance it with everything. My dad was asked to move after the facility made 3 magor medication errors, and it was so awful. Even though he required blood transfusions, and it endangered him, we would have gladly accepted an apology and ownership of "their mistakes", and I feel we should have had a reduction in rent, but instead we were asked to leave, as they knew we knew what was going wrong. It made me sick for my dad, and then he quickly went downhill in a matter of days. If we fought to not get my wonderful dad evicted, and there was passive agressive hostility, that also would have been a stress, and we had the ombudsman going into
 my dads room, asking when he was leaving (he was very frail, and could not do anything without me) (and now he felt not wanted), and the ombudsman called and harrassed me at 9pm, so we felt we should think positive and make the move, but my dad mentally could not adjust, as he had some nurses and assistants that he cared for, and even with all the med errors, he had a routine, and he loved his room. He did not say anything much to me, but I know it must have really stressed him. (I think about when I had to move, and how you lose part of your identity, and when you are old and frail, you just get packed around) I know I have probably said all this to all of you before, and I am sorry, it just still weighs so heavily on my mind, and if others can learn from what happened to me, or at least consider what can happen, then it is worth it. Best wishes Priscilla with your mom. It is not easy either way. I feel for you.  For me, I hope I die before I get that old, so that does
 not happen to me. Our country is a mess when it comes to caring for the elderly.  
   
  As a side note, I have a patient who has burns over 70% of his body, (chronic for years now) but they have disabled him, and he has scarring in his lungs and trachea and cannot barely speak or breath or walk due to the scar tissue. Yet he has to fly down to Los Angeles to take care of his ailing mother who is in her 80's, and drive her every day to the hospital, because he is the sibling that "doesnt work" and the other family members who live in Los Angeles, are "too busy with their lives and working"..... if that is not wrong I do not know what is.. Other countries like China and Vietnam pull together as a tight family unit and give the elderly a place of dignity in the home, and it makes the aging a dying process so much more natural. We have it all wrong. I do not know the perfect fix, but it is something that should be on top of the agenda of what are nations issues are. Just my opinion, Carla/Portland

Priscilla Merrill <prispunnyfnp at metrocast.net> wrote:
  Thanks so much! These tips are all great. Things are going better and
they're letting her nap in bed and my brother wants me to let things be and
says he feels she's getting good care and they don't wish to move her at
this time. Sadly, she's so end stage that she's' probably not going to do
well anywhere at this point. I'm taking all this in and will keep you
posted.

Priscilla

-----Original Message-----
From: npinfo-bounces at nurse.net [mailto:npinfo-bounces at nurse.net] On Behalf
Of Kay Puckett
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2007 1:59 AM
To: NP Info
Subject: Re: [NPInfo] I'm appalled!

Pricilla,
Here is a great link for you concerning the ALF's in Virginia.
http://www.dss.state.va.us/facility/search/alf.cgi This site is through the

DSS of Virginia. I clicked on Assisted Living Care and came up with 498 
facilities in Virginia. You can also click/narrow your search if you are 
looking for facilities with Special Care Units (Alzheimer's) or 
non-ambulatory. When I clicked on "Special Care Units", there are 100 
matching facilities in the state of Virginia. These results are for the 
entire state of Virginia, but you can narrow your search to specific 
locations or zip codes. Hope this helps.
Kay Puckett


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Priscilla Merrill" 

To: "'NP Info'" 
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2007 6:04 AM
Subject: RE: [NPInfo] I'm appalled!


> Thanks so much, Maggie. I really liked this idea of the ALF's. I 
> searched
> but found none in Northern Virginia but not sure HOW to search so if 
> anyone
> knows how to find these places, I'd be very interested.
> Thanks to all and am thinking of Linda this morning. She hasn't posted 
> all
> week so am a bit worried.
>
> Priscilla
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: npinfo-bounces at nurse.net [mailto:npinfo-bounces at nurse.net] On Behalf
> Of Maggie Garancosky
> Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2007 10:01 PM
> To: NP Info
> Subject: Re: [NPInfo] I'm appalled!
>
> Dear Priscilla,
>
> I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm not sure
> what NC has to offer but here in FL, as a Hospice nurse, some of the
> best, most loving care I've ever observed was in unlicensed ALFs. If
> you are paying that kind of money for care, you can afford something
> more personal.
>
> In Tampa and very rural Gainesville area, some people open their homes
> because they have a talent/ calling & the room to provide culturally
> approp. food, contact, & care to Hospice & other patients. Depending on
> the situation, there might be hired caregivers in addition to the people
> who stayed in the house. If MCD is not paying for the bed, you might
> consider this. You would have to balance it against the trauma of moving
> any elder, but especially one with dementia. Given the attentive family
> you have, this could be quite workable for you.
>
> Warm regards,
>
> Maggie Garancosky NP-C, CHPN, CWS
>
> s/p LTC/Rehab, now inpt. Hospice
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Carla R. Anderson, FNP-C
  Healing Presence Family Practice, PC  
  carla_rayne at yahoo.com
  503 819 9726